Irony
by pumpkinnubbin
Summary: What if Natasha was afraid of spiders? Not to be taken seriously.


Natasha is not afraid of a lot of things. In fact, she can count them on one hand, though she prefers not to. If any of them are found out by the others, especially Tony, she knows she'll never hear the end of it. He already found out one of her biggest fears and he still mocks her about it. She's glad that Steve, Bruce and Thor – the latter due to a lack of understanding – don't dabble in her personal affairs, her fears included. Clint, on the other hand, can't help himself sometimes. She knows it's just to tease her but that doesn't make it any better for her. When Tony found out she is afraid of rollercoasters, he suddenly found it difficult to decide what was funnier: the fear itself or Loki's face. The God was lost on the term rollercoaster and even Natasha found it quite hilarious. It made the awkward situation a little better. She keeps her secrets closer to her heart now, only Clint knowing about them all. She does not want a repeat of last time.

Tonight is not her lucky night. Living in one of the most modern and futuristic buildings in the world, she thinks it's ridiculous just how many bugs, spiders and mosquitos make their way into her room. Now she stares at the spider on her wall from a safe distance. She stands in the middle of her room, far away enough to still keep the thing in sight. She does not want it to move and lose her focus on it. Usually she gets Clint for this, or texts him to get rid of it, but he's in Johannesburg and even if he takes the next flight back home, it's not going to be quick enough for her. She chews on her bottom lip and tries to come up with another solution. Natasha considers throwing something like her shoe at it but her bed is right under it and she doesn't want to take the risk of it landing there. Taking her chances and running out of her room to find somebody to deal with it also sounds appealing to her but the fear of the spider having moved somewhere else and being out of sight when she gets back is too high. She lets out a frustrated sigh and stomps her foot on the ground. She hates spiders. Really, really hates them. She is going to have to talk to Tony about this. They keep showing up. Nobody else seems to be complaining about it though so she guesses they don't mind the little creatures as much as she does.

She remembers the last time this has happened, when she woke up in the morning to find a huge spider on the wall mere inches from her face. She fled the room utterly terrified and found Clint as quickly as possible. By the time she found him in the gym, she was panting and half crying. It was a ridiculous picture but she really cannot stand spiders for the life of it. They scare her and make her paranoid. He had to check her room three times to assure her there were no more spiders and she refused to take a step in until way past midnight. It's a good thing Clint knows how to keep his mouth shut. Sometimes. The memory doesn't last long, leaving her mind with a shiver that runs through her entire body.

She thinks she hears footsteps coming from outside and risks a quick glance to the door before fixing it back on the spider. She grumbles to herself and then moves quickly, rushing to the door and opening it. She hopes to God it's not Tony standing there but when she finds herself face to face with a chest, she knows it's not. It's Loki instead and she looks up at him with a mild glare. He's hardly better than Tony but she doesn't have much of a choice now. He looks at her quizzically and she grabs him by the collar to drag him inside her rooms. She would have preferred to find Steve or Bruce or even Thor outside but it's too late now. At least nobody has seen them.

Loki closes the door behind him and Natasha moves back into her bedroom. It takes her two seconds to spot the spider again. It has moved just a few inches to the right and she fixes her glare on it once more. She hears Loki come in behind her and can practically see his smirk when he speaks.

"You know, you could have bought me dinner first, Natasha."

She ignores the comment and doesn't move when he takes another step closer to her. Loki frowns now, confused about her frozen posture. He turns his head to follow her line of sight and grins when he spots the spider. The grin quickly turns into a chuckle as he walks up to it.

"The Black Widow, petrified of spiders." He muses.

"Just…Just get it out." She says, half growling when he looks at her like that, "Get rid of it, Loki."

He takes one of its legs carefully and lifts it off the wall and into his hand. Then he walks back to her with it and she takes a surprising step back, glaring at Loki. It only amuses him further.

"If you take one more step closer with that thing, I swear I will shoot you."

Loki laughs at the warning but bows his head and makes the detour to the window. He opens it and lets the spider go before closing the window again. Natasha is still frozen on her spot when he turns back around to let her know it is gone. He comes closer again with the biggest smile ever on his face and she looks down at her feet in defeat, grumbling.

"This does not leave the room."

Loki just shrugs and she knows this is the best of an agreement she'll get from him.

"Also, I'm going to sleep in your room tonight and since I'm not sharing the bed with you, you are going to sleep here."

"And why would I allow that?"

She glares at his tone of voice but decides not to grace the question with an answer. She cannot and will not sleep in her room for at least another night. Since it's Loki she has shared her secret with, it's his room she'll stay in. She's too afraid there are more spiders hidden somewhere and she is not ready to check the room herself. She's certainly not going to ask Loki to do it. However, he seems to know where her mind is and grins brightly.

"There are no more spiders in this room."

"You can't know that. You haven't even checked yet. I'm sleeping in your room tonight and that's it. No snooping around."

"Fine, whatever the lady wishes. But tell me, how do you plan to explain the arrangement when somebody asks about it?"

"Nobody is going to ask because nobody will know. This entire thing stays between us, got it?"

He nods in agreement and takes a longer look around the room. He would enjoy staying here for the night. Natasha grabs her overnight bag and leaves the room, letting him know that his room is not going to be available for him for the rest of the day until tomorrow. She needs to get out of here. Loki lets her go with a low chuckle, amused by what just happened.

Natasha puts her bag on Loki's bed and looks around before she gets interrupted by a loud knock on the door. She sighs and gets it. Thor is confused when she opens the door and before he can jump to any conclusions, she raises her hand.

"Loki is in my room if you're looking for him. We decided to switch our rooms for the day. Teambonding and all that." She says, waving her hand around.

It's a lame excuse but he buys it without much of a question. She closes the door again when he's gone and goes back to drop down on the couch in the living area. Her phone rings and she smiles when she sees it's Clint. He only calls to check in and tell her how things are going.

"So, how are things on your end?" Clint asks through the phone.

She is about to answer when suddenly, there is a spider in front of her face. She freezes before leaping over the back of the couch, throwing her phone to the side.

"You have got to be kidding me."

Her head whips to the door when she hears Loki's familiar laugh and when she looks back to where the spider is, it's gone in a flash of green light. She sends him a deathglare and he winks at her.

"The secret is safe with me."

He closes the door quickly, just in time to avoid the book she throws his way. She is going to make him pay for that.

* * *

**A/N: I don't even know what happened here. I got the idea and thought it might be fun to go with the irony. Some of her reactions, I have to admit, are largely based on my personal feelings and experiences (like running out of the room in tears and not stepping into it for another two days). I'm really not good with spiders. Either way, I hope you enjoyed reading it and had some fun with this.**


End file.
